"The present is a gift and I just wanna BE"

Facebook has single-handedly killed other network and blog sights. let's have a moment of silence for Friendster, Myspace, and who can forget, Xanga. I believe in blog sites and maybe that's why I still bother to use this blogspot but it's definitely lost it's luster. Waaay back when with xanga, I used to blog a lot. It was just a nice source to vent and in my case, no one really read it. Some things never change. As for Multiply, you lost me at TRACKER.

With that said, I guess I've been regressing a little bit as of late for whatever reason and so in tribute to my old days I'm just gonna blog it out and whatever happens, happens.

- I'm so fucking sick of making lists that I never complete. However, I have no one to blame but myself. I joke around with my mother at work and say that my mind is dying everyday but let's face it, I haven't exactly stimulated my brain cells as much as I hoped to, in my post-college life. I will keep trucking along and hopefully one day I'll figure it out and cut into list one day.
How long can a person go with selling themself short? I mean at some point, you've gotta challenge yourself and really ask yourself, you're capable of more right? The mind is capable of so much and there's no reason why you can't learn whatever you want. This shit sounds cheesy.

- Miami was pretty dope. It's a whole different world down there. The culture is so much different and I kind of wondered how these people just didn't get tired. Not so much tired of the way it is, but just tired in general. I mean I was there for about 5 days and I was beat. Miami does give you some swag as a souvenir for when you get home but you gotta use it before it runs out. Currently, my miami swag has dwindled down. I will explain it to you like this: At this point, my swag is like that first hour after you get a really nice haircut and you feel like little bit of confidence. Yeah, like that. Also, it only comes out after some beers.
Best thing about Miami: NO GUIDO'S
Worst thing about Miami: NO ASIANS. except for those two hypebeasts that worked at KidRobot. fuck hypebeasts.
Most Surprising Thing: I didn't really mind the house music.

- Sometimes I say that there's not enough time in the day but maybe that's just a testament of my poor time management.

- I need a job. The timing is always off though. It probably doesn't make sense when you look at my situation from afar and maybe I'm just making it more mental for myself but I just don't get the definitely feeling that this is the right time to leave the family. Maybe I'm just stalling time. Maybe I should be checking job sites instead of blogging. haha.

- Been going to the gym again and as usual I'm not really satisfied by the results. Obviously, it's better than before but I guess it's my way of keeping myself hungry. also, being so weight conscious makes you look at other dudes physiques, in the most non-homosexual way possible. haha. pervs. but for real I try to see other's who are more fit and sort of set a goal for myself. Everyone's bodies are different but still, you need some sort of visual goal. I think?

- So I'm man enough to admit I kept up with that Dance Show and I must say people complain about it too much. Is it rigged? probably. In my opinion with probably shoulda been Fanny Pak vs. Super Crew. Also, let's be honest, SoReal Cru couldn't stop crying in every video package. Waterworks is cool once in awhile but come on. Are you for real Soreal? Yes I built up to that punchline.
With that said I'm starting my own dance crew and it's gonna be called ANO KABBA?...MODERN.

- I miss my psychology classes. only some.

- I don't know what it is but I always feel I'm the easy target. if I were standing next to 3 other dudes and there was a bully around, somehow, he'd choose me. It's a wierd phenomena of my life. I just don't get it.



At the end of the day I just want to be taken seriously. It's probably time to take some serious steps towards that. Seriously.

dot dot dot

" We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you."

i don't regret any of it. not for a second. some of the best years of my life, and i shared them with you.

there's plenty to be said, but i don't feel like it right now. suffice to say, you're not a bad person. hopefully i'm not either.